when
by gseedlover
Summary: this is my first fanfict.. these are basically my thoughts and fellngs about what is happening. compared to the episode destiny is at its pretty early in the story sry about that... R&R NO FLAMES PLEASE. WARNING: there are spoilers inside


This is my first fanfic, no fames please!

This fic is basically Cagalli's thoughts I might make it a AxC fic later on I'm not sure

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Gundam Seed or any of the characters

Warning: There are spoilers in this fic so if you don't want to ruin it for your self don't read.

When.  
(cagalli's POV)  
When we were happy together all I could think about was us, nothing else mattered to me. You said that you would be my knight and I would be your princess that you would forever protect…but I guess those days wouldn't last forever, because my whole life changed the day that you left me here in orb to face all the problems by myself…….you said that you would come back to me, you even gave me this ring to prove to me that you cared and that you would come back………….. But why aren't you here yet, I've had so many problems to deal with, and you aren't here to help me out with them……I don't even know if I should still believe that you will actually come back to me. I was even about to marry some crazy ass lunatic because of all the pressure that was put on me……But thanks to kira he helped me stop that wedding.

When are you going to come back? That's the question I ask myself, and others I even cry at night just to think that you won't come back to me, like I am crying right now……

Do you even know how much pain I'm going through …..my own country even gave up, and joined the EAF.

I miss you so much and I even wonder if you feel the same way for me. I've even heard rumors that you are engaged again… "Is it true" would you just forget me like that……..I don't even know what to think anymore……. All I know is that it hurts that your not here with me

My heart feels like it is being ripped into millions of pieces…….at the thought of you being happy with someone else

What happened to me?……… I was so strong when I was by myself before I even met you, I didn't depend on others as much as I depend on you…….What happened to the Cagalli Yula Athha that was so strong and could lead her country without hesitation……..she's gone…..that's what happened to her, now all she can do is cry over some jerk who left her……

I hate this…….. Why am I always crying for you…for all I know your probably all happy with you new beloved…….why athrun, why'd you have to leave me…….. You told me you were only going to pay a visit to the new chairman to see if there was a way that you could stop this "war" that was threatening to rise up again……… you said that you would come back but your NOT here….

What if something happened to you… is that why you haven come back?….. Would I rather have it that way instead if knowing that you were with someone else….. But I guess you can't be dead since you just fought my brother in the battlefield not too long ago……

Or maybe you think this is all my fault like everyone else seems to think…is that why you haven't come back… well maybe it is my fault, I was the leader after all, I should have been the one to stop orb from joining the EAF but I couldn't .. I tried but couldn't..

No matter how much I think about it nothing is ever going to change……no matter how many ways I try to look at it, it doesn't change the fact that you aren't here with me…and it hurts

I hate crying…I hardly ever cry… but you… You changed me…. You made me go from a strong person to someone who can't even withstand the pain of you being so far away from me…

I'm tired….. I'm tired of crying. I don't want to cry anymore… especially not for you athrun….

So I promise this ….this is the last time…….. This is the last time I will cry for you Atrhun Zala.  
No more tears….. At least not for you

I'll be strong just like I was before when I didn't depend on anyone to help me……but this time things will be different……. because this time ill be even more strong….that's because I will depend on people who actually CARE for me like my brother and lacus and all the people on the archangel

So even if you come back or not, ill be strong……. Strong for my country and for my people…… ill also be strong for my friends who need me….

And if you do come back who knows what will happen…but one thing is for sure I will not accept you that easily…. After all this pain you made me go through, do you think I would accept you just as easily as that… especially since I heard that you got you little "fake" lacus with you….

We never really said what we felt for each other…. But when you gave me this ring I felt relived because I knew you felt the same way I felt for you……but I guess I was wrong….

So what's the point in wearing this ring….kira told me to keep it … he told me that you would come back…

Sometimes I just want to take it off and forget about you…. So why don't I….

Are you really that happy being away from me?…..looking at the ring on my finger just reminds me of all the time we shared, good, happy, sad, mad times…. But they were all spent with you….so I cherish them

Even though you have made me feel so hurt and sad this whole time that you have been gone I can't forget you…..because I love you…yes I love you….even though I never told you…

Will I take you back easily if you come back?….. I know I said I wouldn't…..but that's because I'm not looking at you …… I know that if you come back and I look at you that I will break down again…

I know that if I look at you ill just want to hold you and kiss you just like the kiss we shared before you left, and the time during the war, when you didn't want me to go in the Strike Rouge

Well then ill just have to wait to see what happens when you come back… that IS IF you come back…

Even though deep inside…

I WANT YOU TO COME BACK 

Well here is my first fic hope you like it

R&R no flames please. 


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